beer and ketchup

My fries today came with little packets of Hunt's Ketchup. Hunt's!

I remember when I moved to New York for the second time, and I was unemployed, or underemployed, or sometimes employed, and I was price-shopping for everything. And I had a bottle of Hunt's Ketchup in my barely-stocked fridge. I had just started dating this chap from Pittsburgh, whom you may or may not know, and Pittsburgh, which you may or may not know, is the home of the Heinz Empire. He was mortally offended that I would even think to buy Hunt's, though to his credit he tried not to show it. Ahh, brand loyalty.

Same reason I like, buy, and drink Fat Tire Beer whenever I get the chance. It has little to do with the taste of the beer, though I find the taste to be quite fine. It's about their tagline: "Follow your folly. We followed ours." Yes, okay. I would like to support a business that is all about following its folly.

DON'T SAY IT, CAROLINE: The other reason I like, buy, and drink Fat Tire Beer is because Fat Tire Beer, like many beers, has an alcohol content. But that's neither here nor there.

the love calculator

Dave Susman. Katie O'Shea. And the Love Calculator Wars. This battle took place over AOL Instant Messenger.

OK GO.

michael jackson loves michael jackson 22 %
mischa barton loves fred savage 93 %
jessica simpson loves lance bass 15 %
jake gyllenhaal loves lance bass 82 %
jonbenet ramsay loves david alan grier 26 %
columbia lions loves barnard bears 97 %
johnny appleseed loves johnny tremain 48 %
jennifer aniston loves gennifer flowers 75 %
missy elliot loves elliot smith 65 %
django reinhart loves oingo boingo 85 %
ellen degeneres loves ellen barkin 72 %
rue mclanahan loves bea arthur 36 %
buddy holly loves buddy lee 87 %
pamela anderson loves loni anderson 22 %
chad lowe loves hilary swank 65 %
rob lowe loves hilary swank 96 %
rob lowe loves robert downey, jr. 17 %
robert sean leonard loves robert downey, jr. 0 %
robert sean leonard loves robin williams 65 %
robert sean leonard loves matt damon 88 %
matt damon loves matt damon 62 %
michelle pfeiffer loves michelle pfeiffer's husband, who lost a toe 0 %
calista flockhart loves rice cakes 79 %
peanut butter loves rice cakes 54 %
peanut butter on celery loves raisins 62 %
cheese loves toast 73 %
smarterchild loves austin powers 71 %
jordan powers loves austin powers 45 %
pfeifferchild loves smarterchild 61 %
martha stewart loves donald trump 55 %
dave susman loves orinda 79%
katie o'shea loves hillsborough 86%
brian o'shea loves hillsboro 41%
hillsboro loves hillsborough 13%
beaverton loves gresham 15%
culver city loves the san fernando valley 41%
Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) loves walking 24 %
skipping loves walking 11 %
mary-kate olsen loves ashley olsen 71 %
jessica simpson loves ashlee simpson 62 %
taliajane22 loves teven12345 83 %
la brea tar pits loves barnard bears 38 %
la brea tar pits loves barnard's armpits 41 %
janice toben loves lotion 42%
la brea tar pits loves brad pits 41 %
professor priscilla parkhurst ferguson loves ill-fitting tights 11 %
the swiss loves swiss army knives 87 %
ill-fitting tights loves people who love them18 %
the french loves the bench 53 %
the french loves jonbenet ramsay 85 %
the pope loves jonbenet ramsay 27 %
the pope loves the king 71 %
prince loves the king 26 %
prince loves madonna 44 %
madonna loves cher 44 %
sonny loves cher 45 %
the captain loves tenille 59 %
the beach boys loves the kinks 73 %
the beatles loves the kinks 16 %

whoa whoa whoa whoa

Now, the triangles were one thing, but this is absurd.





And then:





The fucked-up thing is, I don't even wear glasses.

the two adjustable triangle dream

Came true. I actually do own two small (travel-sized?) adjustable triangles.

So that I can measure things on the fly. Twice.

who the hell is that?

Well, what do you know.



It's the White Rabbit.

The things you find when you move, man. I gotta move less often so this shit stays buried.

what is the paper advantage?

Hey look, it's a paper bag.





Copy written in awkward and then translated to the English.





It's a paper bag born-on date. Like for beer ... but less relevant.




The bag originally held a carne asada burrito and a Jarritos Lime. Now, of course, it will have alternate uses in the home.

15 x 4

It has come to my attention that the amount of time I spend in any given city lately has a shelf-life. And that shelf-life is 15 months.

_ I graduated from college in 15 months. This is a lie.
_ I moved to Cambodia to spend some time with my sister, draw some comics, tend some bar, and help open an orphanage for street kids in our small beach town. I was supposed to stay three months. I stayed one year beyond that, or 15 months. (This stuff takes a while.)
_ I moved back to New York, temped/freelanced for three months. Then I got a job in architecture again, and I worked there for a year, almost to the day. 15 months.
_ I moved to Portland to attend this brilliant advertising program. I cut it really close to the wire getting here, spent 13 months in school, took May off, worked my ass off in June to get a job, and was hired to start in the middle of July, in Los Angeles. 15 months.

So wherever I wind up next, WHICH MIGHT BE PORTLAND AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKERS, you can expect it to take place in October of 2007. I just thought you all should know.

Love,
Katie

**** UPDATE! ****

I didn't move in October, 2007. So I'm thinking I may have just skipped a cycle. January '09, then. As I wrote to my college newsletter's Class Notes, I'm thinking Minneapolis.