I pass this every day on my way to work.
MEMO SLUT. Seems an odd place to voice one's concerns about another's licentious use of the "Reply All" button, but then ... well, I see it every day. On my way to work. So maybe it's reaching its intended audience after all. I feel so ... cheap.
"By the way," you're thinking, "How'd you take that picture, you letterhead whore?" Carefully, that's how. Very carefully.
When you go away from the room for a while, and you go write your first rent check, and you decide to make a card to hold your first rent check, and then you fuck up the lettering and you have to start again, and you decide to change the way the card's going to look and so you have all these extra letters and you're all proud because you managed to use the letters anyway, or some of them, and then you walk back into the room and realize the TV's been on this whole time (woopsie), and it's Italian Futurist porn.
I hate when that happens.
At the request of someone named Nadine, and to more succinctly tell the story of my adult life to date, I'm posting my class notes here for the perusal of the web-browsing populace at large. You're welcome.
After graduating in '02, I moved to Cambodia, tending bar at a bookstore, drawing a comic book about HIV/AIDS, and drawing a scathing comic strip about the expatriate community. Fifteen months later, I returned to New York, working for Cook+Fox Architects in their marketing department. Fifteen months later again, I applied and was accepted to this ridiculous school/advertising agency/experiment thing at Wieden+Kennedy in Portland, Oregon. Fifteen months later still, I moved to Los Angeles to work at 72andSunny as a studio artist. I've been here four months, which means I've got eleven months left if I am to perpetuate my destiny of not living anywhere for longer than fifteen months at a stretch. I'm thinking Minneapolis.
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It's supposed to get to 99 degrees today.
It's 84 degrees right now, and it's only 10 am.
Help.
Because sometimes the barista (baristo? barrister?) is twenty.
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHHHAHAHAAAA--
Crap.
Sometimes, I like to write shit that will teach you a thing or eight. You're welcome.
From Alfred Nobel's last will and testament:
"The whole of my remaining realizable estate shall be dealt with in the following way: the capital, invested in safe securities by my executors, shall constitute a fund, the interest on which shall be annually distributed in the form of prizes to those who, during the preceding year, shall have conferred the greatest benefit on mankind. The said interest shall be divided into five equal parts, which shall be apportioned as follows: one part to the person who shall have made the most important discovery or invention within the field of physics; one part to the person who shall have made the most important chemical discovery or improvement; one part to the person who shall have made the most important discovery within the domain of physiology or medicine; one part to the person who shall have produced in the field of literature the most outstanding work in an ideal direction; and one part to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses. The prizes for physics and chemistry shall be awarded by the Swedish Academy of Sciences; that for physiology or medical works by the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm; that for literature by the Academy in Stockholm, and that for champions of peace by a committee of five persons to be elected by the Norwegian Storting. It is my express wish that in awarding the prizes no consideration be given to the nationality of the candidates, but that the most worthy shall receive the prize, whether he be Scandinavian or not."
The prize: 10,000,000 Swedish Kronor, which is about 1,350,000 USD.
Makes you want to go out and do something to further the aims of world peace or something, don't it? Or, you know. Physics.
Sometimes, I like to publish extra-long, boring things. Keeps you on your toes. You're welcome.
In English, according to Babelfish:
"Je Suis Venu te Dire que Je M'en Vais,"
Serge Gainsbourg
I came you dir' that I from go away
and your tears will be able there nothing to change
comm' says Verlaine so well "to the bad wind"
I came you dir' that I from go away
you remember the old days and you cry
you suffocate, you blémis now that sounded the hour
of the good-byes forever
yes I regret of you dir'
that I from go away yes I liked you, yes, but
I came you dir' that I from go away
your long sobs will not be able there nothing to change
comm' says Verlaine so well "to the bad wind"
I came from you dir' but I
nu te dir' que je m' en vais
et tes larmes n' y pourront rien changer
comm' dit si bien Verlaine "au vent mauvais"
je suis venu te dir' que je m' en vais
tu t' souviens des jours anciens et tu pleures
tu suffoques, tu blémis à présent qu' a sonné l' heure des adieux à jamais
oui je suis au regret d' te dir' que je m' en vais
oui je t' aimais, oui, mais-
je suis venu te dir' que je m' en vais
tes sanglots longs n' y pourront rien changer
comm' dit si bien Verlaine "au vent mauvais"
je suis venu d' te dir' que je m' en vais
tu t' souviens des jours heureux et tu pleures
tu sanglotes, tu gémis à présent qu' a sonné
the hour of the good-byes forever
yes I regret of you dir' that I from go away
because you me too much made of it
I came you dir' that I from go away
and your tears will be able there nothing to change
comm' says Verlaine so well "to the bad wind"
you remember the old days and you cry
you suffocate, you blémis now that sounded the hour of the good-byes forever
yes I regret of you dir' that I from go away
yes I liked you, yes,
but I came you dir' that I from go away
your long sobs will not be able
there nothing to change comm' says if es adieux à jamais
oui je suis au regret d' te dir' que je m' en vais
car tu m' en as trop fait-
je suis venu te dir' que je m' en vais et tes larmes n' y pourront rien changer comm' dit si bien Verlaine "au vent mauvais" tu t' souviens des jours anciens et tu pleures tu suffoques, tu blémis à présent qu' a sonné l' heure des adieux à jamais oui je suis au regret d' te dir' que je m' en vais oui je t' aimais, oui, mais- je suis venu te dir' que je m' en vais tes sanglots longs n' y pourront rien changer comm' dit si bien Verlaine "au vent mauvais" je suis venu d' te dir' que je m' en vais tu t' souviens des jours happy and you cry you sanglotes, you groaned now that the hour of the good-byes forever yes I regret of you dir' sounded that I from go away because you too much did me
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OK NOW GO AND DO TO A SONG.
You can translate a English song out of English, if you like.
